#14: You don't know how to make friends

Happy [Good] Friday! 🎉 This post goes out to Jesus Christ, of course…and to everyone who replays a song after an interruption so they can sing along to their favorite part again, and again, and again…

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Okay, let’s get into it 🚀

💡 1 thing I've learned this week

You can make new friends 👯‍♀️

“So no one told you life was gonna be this way

Your job's a joke, you're broke

Your love life's DOA

It's like you're always stuck in second gear

When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month

Or even your year, but

I'll be there for you…”

If you don’t know where those words are from, we can’t be FRIENDS 😉.

I consider myself a 6.5 on the introvert (0) to extrovert (10) scale. While I gain energy from hanging out with people, after a good evening with friends, I need to stay home for several days, plugged into a wall outlet to recharge.

And if I met new people that evening, I’ll have to stay plugged in longer.

Making friends as an adult is an extreme sport, right?

But why?

1. We’re not kids anymore: children have the luxury of the two main ingredients for making friends—repeated unplanned interactions and vulnerability

2. We don’t know how to make friends

3. We need people but we’re also terrified of people

4. Social anxiety often turns into avoidance which manifests in pulling your phone out at parties

But there is hope for us:

1. Assume people will like you (because they probably will), and approach social situations with that mindset

2. Be intentional: Friendship doesn’t happen organically for adults; it must be intentional, so slide in those DMs. Initiate that conversation

3. Resist the urge to hide behind your phone: Show up and engage

4. You don’t have to be super interesting, or entertaining: Most people just want someone who makes them feel like they matter

5. Perceive friendships as flexible, not fragile: sometimes you lose touch with people for one reason or another. Life happens. However, if you haven’t been explicitly rejected by them, you can always reach out to reignite things. Again—assume they like you.

Why is friendship so important?

Community and friendship are essential for our well-being. Being lonely can be as bad for you, if not worse, than smoking 15 cigarettes a day. 

If you’re married, or in a relationship that makes you quite insular, outside friendships can improve your relationship by balancing the stresses you feel in the relationship and allowing you to enjoy some of the things you love that your partner isn’t necessarily crazy about.

I can’t convince my wife to go camping with me. I have friends for that.

Most of the thoughts here are inspired by this podcast I listened to. The episode is packed with gems, particularly in the Q&A session after the monologue.

🔌 Shameless plug

Readers are saying TLDR Weekly is “necessary and there’s nothing like it in Uganda,” and I agree.

🙏🏾 1 thing I'm grateful for

Writing.

I’m so glad I started writing more frequently. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and process my feelings.

Before you ship your next best idea, write it down in as much detail as you can. Writing helps you see the gaps.

🚀 Pro-tip

Smart chips and building blocks in Google Docs and Sheets

If you’ve looked at Google Docs or Sheets recently, you might have noticed they got an attractive makeover like the emo kid in a high school rom-com.

The first thing you see when you open a new Google Doc is the prompt: “Type @ to insert”

If you saw this and ignored it, I’m not judging you. In fact, I’m thanking you because your negligence has been repackaged as “content” by this opportunistic creator.

The “@” allows you to insert (almost) anything into your document quickly without sifting through the options in the constellation of icons and prompts in the toolbar.

Smart chips allow you to use the “@” sign to insert dropdowns, people, files, dates, and events in Docs and Sheets in an instant.

Building blocks allow you to add templates for tracking projects, files, etc.

You can also use the “@” sign to insert emojis, tables, headings, footnotes, horizontal lines, etc. Pretty much anything in the “Insert” tab in the toolbar.

The options are endless and these examples merely scratch the surface.

🧩 Games

Riddle

Brought to you by Braingle.

What's the rebus, here:

J, ____ , & Titanic

Note: Rebus brain teasers use words or letters in interesting orientations to represent common phrases.

Hint: See the first two items (J & ___) in terms of what they look like and not what they are, necessarily, as keyboard characters.

Answer below

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❓Riddle answer

Answer: Hook, line, and sinker.

Have a great weekend,

— Shem

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